Idiot
by Galilhai
Summary: Ichigo is too shy to confess his feelings to public so Kenpachi decides to "help" him with that...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Once again I had an idea which could not leave me alone. So I wrote it down. :) Kenpachi x Ichigo again, they're so good together... **

**Warnings: yaoi. And english is not my mother language. Grammar mistakes, wrong, missing words are very possible. I'm sorry about that, but I always do my best, please try to understand. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, Bleach and the characters belongs to Tite Kubo. I'm not getting any profit for doing this. This is just a pure fanficition. **

* * *

**Chapter 1 – Shy Strawberry**

"Idiot…"

Ichigo lowered his gaze. His cheeks were red and his heart was beating faster than usually. He was embarrassed but could not say anything to Kenpachi. He could hear Yachiru's quiet sniffles: the girl was still sitting there with them – Ichigo and Kenpachi.

Ichigo knew he was acting like an idiot but could not say anything anymore. He had a strange feeling, like all this would be just a dream. He had never shouted to Kenpachi like he just had.

They had been arguing before but never really been angry. Now they both had lost their tempers and just shouted at each other. They had only stopped when Yachiru had started to cry.

"No, don't!" the girl whimpered. "Don't fight you guys!"

The problem briefly was this: Ichigo was now dating Kenpachi. Ichigo was still quite lost with his feelings and did not want to tell anyone about their relationship. In other words, he wanted to keep it as a secret.

Kenpachi hated secrets.

He could not understand why Ichigo wanted to hide their relationship from others.

"The hell with everyone else!" Kenpachi had shouted. "Who cares what they think?"

But Ichigo did. He could not stop thinking about it. What would his friends say if he would tell them that he was now dating Kenpachi Zaraki? He had even had nightmares about it. He could see their wide eyes, could even hear them laugh at him – or even worse, saying to him that he was somehow defective…

Their fight had started in the bedroom. It had been just a little arguing, nothing big. But it had been getting bigger and bigger and they had totally exploded during the breakfast. If Yachiru would not have been there Ichigo had no doubt that they would probably had soon been really hurting each others…

"I'm going", Ichigo stated quietly and stood up.

Kenpachi did not say anything. He just looked at him, a gloomy look on his face.

"When you'll come back?" Yachiru turned her head. Her eyes had a desperate look.

"Can't say", Ichigo answered. "Bye then."

"Bye…" Yachiru said quietly even Kenpachi did not say anything; he just shot one angry glare after Ichigo. Ichigo sighed and shrugged: _fine, if that's the way you want it then…_

…

"You're so unromantic, Ken-chan", Yachiru said to Kenpachi when Ichigo shut the door behind him.

Kenpachi looked at Yachiru. She looked grumpy.

"I know I was stupid", Kenpachi sighed. "I just can't _fucking_ understand his mind movements! Why everything has to be so complicated with him?"

"He's never been with anyone like he's with you", Yachiru said with a knowing tone in her voice. "He said it himself. He must be confused."

"Well, he's my first true love, also!" Kenpachi hissed. "Why I can't act complicated, huh?"

"'Cause you're the alpha male", Yachiru said. "Alpha males can't act complicatedly."

"Is that's so?"

"Yep."

"Whatever, eat you cereals…" Kenpachi murmured. He had lost his appetite himself.

He loved Ichigo, no doubt about it. It was strange feeling since he never had really had anyone to love. Except Yachiru, of course, but their love were different. Yachiru was like a daughter to him. Ichigo was – something else… He was no better than Yachiru, but he was different. Kenpachi had once thought he was probably asexual since he could not find anyone who he actually would have loved.

Now he had found someone.

However, that annoying idiot did want to keep it as a secret. Ichigo needed time, as he said himself. To Kenpachi it was hard since he had always been bad keeping secrets. He hated secrets! He had always told everything to someone, usually to Yachiru. Some people would have been shocked if they would know how much Yachiru actually knew about Kenpachi.

Kenpachi's theory was simple: secrets were stupid. That was how taboos were born.

"Maybe I should just force him…" Kenpachi thought aloud.

Yachiru looked him angrily: "_H whnn't lht yoh rhbe bool Ihhi_!" her mouth was full of cereals.

Kenpachi stared her for a moment, before blinking: "What?"

Yachiru gulped and said again: "I won't let you rape poor Ichi!"

"I won't rape him! Idiot. I was talking about that he would tell his friends that we're together."

"How would you force him to do something like that?" Yachiru looked at Kenpachi. "Don't you think you should just – well… Give him some time?"

"I've already given him four fucking months already! I've had enough of this bullshit. He's too shy or scared or whatever, something lame anyway. I'll give him an encouragement shot!"

Yachiru nodded.

"How?" she asked.

"Let's see…" Kenpachi rubbed his bony jaw. He had no idea what he should do so he went upstairs where Ichigo's stuff was.

No, Ichigo was not living with them – yet. He was just visiting Seireitei. The reason had something to do with training and stuff like that and since Ichigo had never liked to sleep at 5th Division's Barracks he was staying at Kenpachi's place.

Ichigo was now the captain of the 5th Division. It had happened about a month ago. Captain Commander had had enough that there was too much work for poor Hinamori and always missing persons in the captains meetings since they had no captains in 3rd, 5th nor 9th Divisions.

Ichigo was strong. Captain level, even he was only a substitute.

Kenpachi found Ichigo's schedule. He looked at it to see where his annoying shy strawberry had gone today. Friday_: training in 5t__h__ Division and captains meeting._

Kenpachi blinked: Ichigo had been force to enter their meeting today. Poor shy strawberry. However, that could be a perfect time to Kenpachi to give his encouragement shot to him.

"Find something blackmail worthy, find something blackmail worthy…" Kenpachi searched happily Ichigo's bag. There were almost all his clothes and some other stuff, like toothbrush and comb and notebook. However, nothing blackmail worthy.

Kenpachi had to think this over again. Then the notebook gave him one idea, which he could try out…

…

"God damn with that jerk", Ichigo sighed while walking. He could not understand how Kenpachi sometimes managed to be _so _stubborn. When he was on that mood, he did not even listened what Ichigo tried to tell him!

It was so useless to even trying to talk with him! He had his one opinion, which he held on so hard he did not even want to consider any other explanation.

"Jerk…" Ichigo murmured angrily. "Lovely one - but a jerk anyway…" he added, smiling slightly.

All had happened so fast that Ichigo was still confused. Now he had been with Kenpachi about four months – but telling the truth, it felt like they would have been together forever…

At first, it had felt so strange. The man who had chased him around Seireitei so many times had wanted to kiss and cuddle him. Kenpachi Zaraki, 11th Division captain. The man who had almost killed Ichigo and who had maniac laugh. Ichigo noticed that a smile had appeared on his face when he thought about that…

It all had happened fast. Really fast. Now it felt like Ichigo wanted to slow down. The problem was that Kenpachi did not understand his reasons. He thought Ichigo was ashamed about them. He had even said that to him.

Ichigo could not bring out how much that one accusation had hurt. Because it was not true, even it had something true in it. No, he was not ashamed about them. He was ashamed about himself.

It was obvious that he had kept things secret from his friends such a long time. That he had feelings towards another man. Had he always liked him, Kenpachi? He was not sure, even he had to admit he had sometimes looked at him, thinking how beautiful he actually was…

Kenpachi always laughed when Ichigo told him that, that he was beautiful. They had been in bed then and Ichigo had once again been on his back.

"Idiot", Kenpachi had chuckled. "I'm not."

"Yes, you are", Ichigo had told him and had petted his cheek, running his finger gently over that scar of his. "You should keep your hair down more often…"

"To hide my ugly face, eh?"

"No", Ichigo had blushed. "I didn't mean that!"

"I know, stupid", Kenpachi had smirked. "If you think I'm beautiful then I'm happy about it. It's just I have eyes, I know what I look like…"

"Maybe your eyes are wrong", Ichigo had whispered and Kenpachi had really smiled, not smirked or grinned, really smiled.

Ichigo stepped in trough the 5th Division's barrack's gates and smiled again. If he would have known what Kenpachi was doing back at home, he would not be smiling.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: The second chapter. I noticed the ending looks like this would be the final chapter of this story but there will be a third chapter still... I just wanted to tell that. :) Thanks for the comments! :)**

**Warnings: english is not my mother language, so grammar mistakes, wrong/missing words etc. ar every possible. I always do my best, but please, try to understand...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Bleach and the characters belongs to Tite Kubo. I get no profit from doing this. This is just a pure fanfiction!**

**Hope you like! :) Thanks!**

* * *

**Chapter 2 – Impatient time**

"Ken-chan, you're going to be late!" Yachiru said when Kenpachi was still at home. "The meeting will start in thirty minutes and it takes that time when you walk there!"

"I'll run the whole way there", Kenpachi shrugged: he had been late before, that would not kill anyone. He had just finished his hair. "How do I look?"

"You're so handsome, Ken-chan", Yachiru smiled widely.

"Thanks", Kenpachi made sure that all his bells were on right places. Then he patted his pocket and made sure his Ichigo's blackmail evidence was in there. "Right then, I'm off now."

"Bye, Ken-chan! Don't be too rough on Ichi!"

…

One thing was certain. Ichigo could never understand how there could possibly be so much paperwork for captains. He could not even understand some things that were on those papers. Sometimes he was sure he was something between a plumber and a president because the ranges of subjects on those papers were so wide…

"Captain Kurosaki", Hinamori said.

Ichigo looked up. He still jolted every time someone addressed him like that.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your work", Hinamori bowed slightly, "but you're going to be late from the meeting today."

"Oh, shit, that one!" Ichigo cursed. He had totally forgotten it. He stood up so quickly he almost tripped over. Hinamori smiled at him when he literally jumped away.

Ichigo was nervous. It was his first meeting as a captain in the captains meeting. He had once asked from Kenpachi what they actually did in those meetings. Kenpachi had said that they usually drank sake and dance...

Ichigo knew it had been only a joke. Kenpachi had shrugged and had said that they usually just talked about boring things. Knowing Kenpachi, Ichigo knew that boring meant important.

Along the way, Ichigo tried to remember where he supposed to stand. He had also asked this from Kenpachi. He now tried to remember what he had told him: if there were only one line, he would stand between captain Retsu Unohana and captain Byuakuya Kuchiki so that captain Unohana would be on his right side. However, if there would be two lines he would have to stand between captain Soi Fon and captain Sajin Komamura in the right sided line.

"Why this has to be so complicated…?" Ichigo whined when he ran trough the gates, which led to the 1st Division's Barrack's meeting hall. Ichigo was the last on who arrived. The rest of the captains were obviously waiting for him because they were chattering and were not standing in line.

Ichigo cursed himself: what a good thing to start this first meeting of his…

"Oi, Ichigo Kurosaki!"

Ichigo froze. He had somehow totally managed to forget that Kenpachi would also be here. He did not want to see him yet – not after the fight they had had earlier… But there he now was. He even waved his hand when he saw Ichigo and smiled happily.

Or so it seemed. Ichigo knew that smile: he was plotting something.

"Ken – pachi…" Ichigo was pale now. "Don't… please…"

Kenpachi grinned maliciously. Ichigo knew, he _knew _that _everyone _was now watching them. Everyone! All captains and their lieutenants, even Captain Commander Yamamoto himself was looking curiously at them.

Countless horror pictures were running a circle and screaming inside Ichigo's mind.

Kenpachi came close. If the situation would not have been what it was Ichigo would have just turned around – and ran away! But he could not, not now, when everyone was looking at them.

And that smile… Ichigo _knew_ that smile! He was sure that Kenpachi had to be still angry about what had happened at breakfast – and now he wanted revenge. Knowing Kenpachi his revenge would be humiliating. He hated secrets, Ichigo knew that but – what would he do? Ichigo saw how the tall man touched his pocket with his long fingers.

_Oh God! _Ichigo's eyes widened. _He could not be -! Yes, he did! That idiot! Fucking imbecile, he brought something here! He wants to release our relationship to everyone – and what could be better and WORSE place to do that!_

"Don't", Ichigo formed mute words with his lips. "Idiot, stop!"

"You forgot this", Kenpachi smirked and pulled something from his pocket. It was small and the first thing, which crossed Ichigo's mind, was: _condoms! He brought condoms here!_

However, when he looked more carefully he saw it was no condoms. It was a piece of paper. A letter…? Ichigo frowned and took the paper carefully from Kenpachi. He noticed it was not actually a letter, just a piece of paper – which he noticed had been ripped off from his notebook. He recognized those lines on the paper.

"Thank… you…" he said, trying to look calm. "Captain… Zaraki."

"You're welcome, Ichi", Kenpachi grinned widely.

Ichigo's heart dropped to his stomach. He felt how his cheeks turned violently red and almost crushed the small paper in his hands. Everyone was now looking _very _curiously at them.

Ichigo heard how someone murmured: "Ichi?" aloud.

"By the way, we're out of lube", Kenpachi said with very loud voice, grinning happily all the time, despite the fact that Ichigo was now full red and seemed to be shrinking. "Remember to buy some before you come back home!" he yelled with so loud voice, that everyone understood what was going on.

Ichigo was sure he would die. He looked at the rest of the captains. Everyone, every single one of them was looking at them. Captain Hitsugaya looked somehow sick, captain Unohana really smiled and the rest of them looked more or less shocked or surprised. Ichigo looked at the captain commander and saw a smile on his old face…

Before anyone knew what happened Ichigo turned around and ran away.

…

Kenpachi blinked when Ichigo ran away as fast as he just could run… He had expected somehow strong reaction but not anything like this. He frowned.

"Nice one", captain Hitsugaya hissed. "Idiot."

Kenpachi shot a glare towards the young captain. Captain Hitsugaya just sighed and looked away. Everyone had totally forgotten why they were here in the first place: that little, dramatic and unexpected show had confused everyone.

"My, my, my old friend Zaraki", captain Shunsui stepped closer and placed a hand on Kenpachi's bony and muscular shoulder. "What wonderful news! How come you haven't told me about this?"

"Because Ichi – _go _wanted to keep it as a secret", Kenpachi murmured: he was still quite confused about Ichigo's reaction. _The hell, Ichi? Why did you run away like that? Is this really so difficult to you? Why…?_

"After him."

Kenpachi blinked, not because of the words – but because he recognized the voice. He slowly looked over his shoulder and saw captain commander's old and wise eyes looking straight at him.

"Huh…?"

"Go after him", captain commander repeated.

"Do I have to bring him back here?"

"No", captain commander shook his head – and Kenpachi understood. He nodded, whispered and unheard thanks before he sprinted after Ichigo.

"My, my, my…" captain Shunsui smiled. "What a surprise. Really, _those_ two together. My, my, my… Even if I already suspected that my old friend Zaraki might like men more than women, still this really is something…"

"Yew", captain Hitsugaya winced.

…

"Captain Kurosaki!" Hinamori looked shocked when Ichigo ran back to the barracks. "Why are you -? Did you forget something? W –what's wrong, captain?"

"Nothing!" Ichigo escaped into his office, closing and locking the door after him. "Leave me alone!"

His heart was pounding. He felt sick. He had run the whole way back here. He wanted to die. Crawl under a rock or something and just rot away… He hated Kenpachi, he hated him! That fucking idiot! Why he had to this something like this? Did he hate Ichigo or something? Why he had to humiliate him in front of everyone? Why?

While thinking Ichigo squeezed his hands – and noticed the small paper, which was still in his hand. He had totally forgotten it.

Ichigo opened the paper. His fingers were trembling while he did so. There was a short message:

_"Hiya, Ichi! =)"_

"I HATE HIM!" Ichigo shred the paper into million little pieces and yelled. When his mind slowly started to register what had really happened, his angry shout turned into a cry. He fell on his knees, hid his face into his hands - and just cried.

He knew Kenpachi had a point – but he was so embarrassed right now. He had only asked to have some time and then Kenpachi had been his impatient self and done something like this to him. Tricked him and now everyone knew about them.

A hand touched his shoulder. Ichigo had locked the door so he did not except anyone to be in his room. He jolted and looked over his shoulder – and saw the man he hated so much at that very moment.

"What do you still want?" Ichigo sniffled, stood up and wiped his eyes, even tears would not stop coming. "Do you perhaps want to yell everyone that we don't have any condoms either?"

Kenpachi shook his head slowly. His bells were ringing softly. He did not smile anymore.

"Why you had to do this to me?" Ichigo cried. "I would have needed just a little time, fucking bastard!"

"Sorry, Ichi…" Kenpachi spoke so quietly Ichigo almost did not hear him.

Ichigo cried desperately and pressed hands on his chest, because it hurt so much. He turned his back to Kenpachi and just cried. Kenpachi tried to come closer but Ichigo pushed him away, trying to tell him to fuck off, but could not speak.

"Ichi, I'm sorry. I knew this would be hard to you – but I didn't know it would hurt this much", Kenpachi said. "I'm sorry, Ichi."

"Go to hell!" Ichigo shouted. "Fucking imbecile!"

"Why you want to hide this, anyway?" Kenpachi demanded. "The only thing I ever hear from your mouth is that you need some time. _Why_? Why you need that fucking time? Is it too hard for you to accept your feelings?"

Ichigo grabbed the closest thing within his hand reach and tossed it towards Kenpachi. Unluckily it happened to be an inkbottle. It shattered into pieces when Kenpachi blocked it with his hand. Ink split all around him: on his clothes, hands and even face.

Ichigo gasped – but did not say anything. Kenpachi looked his now inked arm before turning his eyes towards Ichigo. He had disappointed look on his face. Ichigo excepted him to say or do something – but he just turned his back to Ichigo and left.

He jumped out of the window. Clearly, he had also come inside that same way.

Ichigo just stared after him. His mind was now completely empty. He sat down on the floor, pressed his forehead against his knees, and just sat there…

…

"Ken-chan!" Yachiru looked at Kenpachi eyes wide open when the tall shinigami came home. "What in the world happened to you? You are black! Is that ink? What happened? Where's Ichi?"

Kenpachi did not answer to any of Yachiru's questions. He pulled his captain jacket off and let it fall on the floor before heading to the bathroom. He pulled the rest of his ink stained clothes off during the way. Yachiru followed him, not saying anything. She just quietly picked up Kenpachi's clothes, which he dropped on the floor.

"Ken-chan…"

Kenpachi went to the bathroom and did not close the door behind him. He let hot water run over his body and rubbed dried ink away. When it did not fade he rubbed even harder - but the ink had dried.

Suddenly Kenpachi totally snapped. He yelled as hard as he could and hit his fists against the wall. The whole room – the whole _house_ - shook and for a moment Yachiru was sure something would surely break. Luckily, that whoever had built that house had made it Kenpachi proof.

"Ken-chan", Yachiru looked how Kenpachi sat down on the floor, water still washing over his body, which had ink stains all over. Kenpachi breathed heavily, eyes closed.

Yachiru came in the bathroom, closed the water. She did not say anything, just hugged the naked, ink stained and wet man. Kenpachi wrapped his right arm around her small body.

"Sorry, Yachiru", he said quietly. "I was just little…" he could not find a fitting word for his feelings.

"It's okay, Ken-chan", Yachiru said. "I understand. Did you have a fight with Ichi?"

"Yeah", Kenpachi nodded.

"Is that's the reason why you have ink all over you clothes and body?"

"He threw an inkbottle on me", Kenpachi said, rubbing his forehead hard with his left hand. "I just… don't know what I'm doing wrong…"

"Are you angry to Ichi?"

"No", Kenpachi shook his head. "I… Maybe he really needs some time, I don't know… It's just…" Kenpachi sighed heavily. "Every time he tells me he needs more time it makes me feel like I'm just a toy or something. Does that sound stupid?"

"No, Ken-chan", Yachiru shook her head. "You really like him, don't you?"

"Yeah…" Kenpachi nodded quietly.

"That's why you're feeling like that", Yachiru smiled and petted Kenpachi's cheek. "You care much about him and wish he would feel the same. Right?"

"Yeah", Kenpachi nodded.

"I know Ichi feels the same."

"How?"

"I can see it. Every time he looks at you or even sees you there's that glint in his eyes. At first, I didn't understand what it was. Then I figured it out: it's love."

Kenpachi felt something in his heart. It made him smile, somewhat sadly, though.

"Really?"

"Yep", Yachiru smiled and hugged Kenpachi. "But you – _we_ have to remember that he's still so young."

"Fragile…" Kenpachi whispered, remembering how much Ichigo had cried. It still made Kenpachi heart ache, because he knew he had caused that.

"Now, let's get that ink off your face! You look like a Dalmatian, Ken-chan", Yachiru giggled happily.

"Shut it, brat", Kenpachi hissed, even he smiled, and gave Yachiru one gentle kiss on her

forehead. Yachiru smiled. Kenpachi thought he was so lucky to have Yachiru: she was smarter than she looked.

"What do you think", Yachiru asked quietly. "Will Ichi still come back to us?"

Kenpachi shook his head. "Can't say. I don't know. Maybe… maybe we just really have to give some time to him. So, let's give him that, time…"

Yachiru looked really sad, but nodded anyway.

"I'll miss him."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: ****Sorry for the long wait. Too much work, too less time... :) This is the final chapter. I hope you like even it once again became a little mushy... **

**Warnings: English is not my mother language, so grammar mistakes and wrong/missing word(s) and etc. are very possible. Please, try to understand, I still do my best. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything! Bleach and the characters belongs to Tite Kubo. This is just a pure fanfiction! I get no credit from doing this!**

**Thanks! Hope you like! :)**

* * *

**Chapter 3 – The Alpha Male**

The more Ichigo thought about it, the more embarrassed he felt. He was still quite embarrassed about what had happened at the captains meeting – but now more about how he had acted.

It was painful, but he had to admit it.

Kenpachi was right.

Maybe he had always been right.

Ichigo had been so angry that he had almost had a migraine! Then he had had forced himself to calm down. He had sat down – and had thought the whole thing trough. First, he had thought that he had been right and Kenpachi had been wrong. Of course: the man was an idiot and Ichigo did not want to see him ever again.

Dot – or an exclamation mark.

However, Ichigo had also tried to understand why Kenpachi had done such a thing. He had still been very angry and humiliated – but then he had remembered something what Kenpachi had once said to him:

"You know, Ichi, I don't want to just play with you."

Ichigo did not remember when Kenpachi had said that but now he understood what he had actually meant. If it had been: "I don't want to play with you", it would have been okay.

But it had been: "I don't want to _just _play with you."

That "just."

"He thinks I'm not serious with him…" Ichigo had realized. "He thinks I'm – oh, God, that fucking imbecile!" Ichigo had almost sprinted out – but had then remembered what he had done. He had thrown an inkbottle on him. Ichigo knew Kenpachi was strong. He probably did not even felt that hit.

But that look on his face had been so sad.

Ichigo sat down again, sighed and decided he should probably just bang his head against his desk because he was so stupid. So he did. Three times. The third time hurt so much Ichigo winced and decided to stop and just laid back on his chair and stared the ceiling…

The time had passed and it was now already dark. Ichigo was still in his office. Suddenly there was a knock. Ichigo did not say anything but whoever was behind that door decided to come in anyway. Ichigo looked up – and saw Rukia.

"Hey", Rukia smiled.

"Hey", Ichigo said quietly but he had no strength to smile.

"It's late", Rukia said. "Shouldn't you go home?"

Ichigo closed his eyes and shook his head. Going home meant he had to go to Kenpachi's place. He was staying at that place now when he was in Seireitei. He was not sure if he had enough courage to face Kenpachi yet.

Rukia smiled and sat down.

"Rough day?" she asked, quietly.

Ichigo just nodded.

"Want to talk about it?"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you", Ichigo sighed. "I don't know what to do anymore."

"It's okay, Ichigo. I don't mind. Actually, I already suspected something. When you told me that you're staying at 6th Division's Barracks and then Renji told me you had told him that you're staying at 13th Division's Barracks."

"I'm so sorry, Rukia…"

"I told you, it's okay", Rukia smiled, shaking her head. "We were just worried about you. We thought captain Kurotsuchi had kidnapped you for his experiments!" Rukia laughed and Ichigo smiled.

"Really, Ichigo, it's okay. Why you're so sad?"

"Because…" Ichigo tried to wipe his tears away: where did that all liquid came from? "Because… I think Ken hates me now", Ichigo noticed too late he had used Kenpachi's nickname – but did not correct it.

Rukia knew. It did not matter anymore.

"Why you're thinking something like that?" Rukia frowned.

Ichigo was too ashamed to talk about it, so he just shook his head.

"Did you have a fight?"

"Yes", Ichigo nodded.

"Well, Ichigo, I've known captain Zaraki for years – I knew him even before you were born. I know his personality quite well. He's not unforgiving."

"You didn't see how he looked at me", Ichigo sighed.

"I think you should go home", Rukia smiled.

"No."

"Come on, Ichigo, what could go wrong?"

"He probably sits there in the shadows with his blade and waits for me to come so he can –"

"Ichigo", Rukia shook her head.

"Okay, maybe not", Ichigo smiled somehow, but not long. He sighed and rubbed his forehead with his thumbs. He had learned that from Kenpachi and felt tears in his eyes once again. How it was possible to love someone so much?

"Oh, God", Ichigo whispered. "I have to apologize him."

Rukia smiled and nodded.

…

Ichigo saw that the whole house was dark. His heart was cold and heavy right then. He managed to open the door. It was difficult since he did not even see the keyhole in the darkness.

Everything looked normal when he came in and closed the door behind him. Oh, he had never realized how much he even loved this house… There were Kenpachi and Yachiru's clothes were in the front hall. When Ichigo had started to spend more time in here, he had tried to keep it clean. Kenpachi and Yachiru were two worst types of bohemians…

Ichigo looked into the kitchen and saw a small note on the table. His heart skipped and he walked closer to see what it was. He was afraid, no doubt about it. But he forced himself to read it:

"_Ichi!_

_If you are hungry, take something from the freezer. But do not dare to touch the banana yoghurt, it is mine!_

_Yachiru."_

Ichigo smiled. Little Yachiru...

"I'm so happy, Ken-chan and Ichi! I always knew you two would be a perfect match! I'm so happy, because I can see Ken-chan is happy and I'm happy because Ichi is happy and I'm happy because you guys are happy because you both are happy and I'm so happy for your happiness and – "

"Breath", Kenpachi had told when Yachiru had whined the last words out and was already bluish.

Ichigo was not hungry. He looked up the stairs. It was dark and quiet. Ichigo swallowed and made a decision: whatever would happen he would deserve it. If Kenpachi did not want him around anymore, it would be okay.

The door was ajar. Kenpachi usually always closed the bedroom door. What did this mean? It was ajar… Was it "come in" sign or "I dare you to" sign? Ichigo collected his courage and stepped in.

The room was empty. Ichigo gulped. Where - ?

Steps.

Ichigo turned around. Kenpachi was standing there behind him. He looked Ichigo for a moment, not even blinking. For a few seconds his hand rested on the doorknob – then he just pulled the door shut behind his back.

"I putted Yachiru in bed", Kenpachi said simply.

"Oh, okay", Ichigo nodded. He felt guilty: it was usually his job to put Yachiru in her bed now days. The reason: Yachiru had told that Ichigo tells better bedtime stories.

Ichigo opened his mouth in order to say something but Kenpachi just sat down on the edge of the bed and started to take his clothes off. That meant he was tired and wanted to go to sleep. Ichigo knew he had to hurry…

"Ken, I –"

"I don't want to force you to stay here, Ichigo", Kenpachi said when he pulled his shirt off. "If you need time then you have to take that time. But I'm tired of this stupid game, Ichigo. I don't want to fight about this anymore, okay? If you still need some time then take that time somewhere else."

Ichigo almost fell down when he heard how cold Kenpachi's voice was. He felt panic rising inside him and tried to talk once again. Was Kenpachi this angry?

Kenpachi pulled his pants off also so he had only his underwear on. Ichigo gulped and forced his eyes to look into his eyes, not anywhere lower. Kenpachi was taking his eye patch off.

"Ken, listen, please…"

Kenpachi just sighed heavily, took the eye patch off and looked into Ichigo's eyes. He looked very tired and also sad – and disappointed.

"Ichigo, I… don't want to be just a toy…"

"You're not!"

"Well, why I'm feeling like that then, huh? It feels like I'm just a some sort of a… secret _sex toy_ to you!"

"Ken!"

"Stop calling me that! You don't even mean it."

"_Ken_!" Ichigo shouted out very loud. "No -! Listen to me, please. Just this once, please! I have to tell something to you, but please, listen to me first. After that you can toss me out if you want, but… please."

Kenpachi looked at Ichigo. No, it was more a glare than anything else. He sighed, pushed hair away from his face with his hand and just nodded. Ichigo sighed and closed his eyes for a moment.

"I'm sorry. I was stupid. I should have acted differently from the very beginning. You were right and I was wrong – and I'm sorry that I've pushed you around so much. This must have been more difficult to you than it has been to me…" Ichigo sighed, furiously wiping his eyes with his thumbs. Seriously, how much liquid he had in his eyes…?

"I'm sorry I shouted at you and threw that bottle on you. It wasn't your fault. I don't know why this is so difficult to me but I know now that you have been right all along. I'm sorry, Kenpachi, really."

Kenpachi just sat there. He did not say anything.

"Okay. That's all I wanted to say", Ichigo whispered, still wiping tears off. "Bye then."

Ichigo stepped closer the door. He was just reaching the doorknob with his hand when he was pulled back with not so friendly way. He yelped and grabbed the strong arm, which had wrapped around his waist like a snake.

"Kenpachi -!" Ichigo yelped when Kenpachi forced him to turn around so he saw his face.

_Oh, God, not that smile again… What's he's up to now…?_

Kenpachi grabbed Ichigo's waist – and lifted him off the ground. He had never done anything like that before so Ichigo struggled against this sudden move. Kenpachi held him in his arms so that Ichigo had no choice than keep himself up against his body by wrapping his legs around Kenpachi's waist.

"Kenpachi, what in the -?"

Kenpachi smirked. Ichigo stared into his eyes. He was grinning but there were tears in his eyes.

"Ken… pachi?"

"Ichi", Kenpachi was so close Ichigo had to gulp and he blushed even more. Kenpachi's low voice quaked his whole body. "Where are you going?"

Ichigo just stared. Kenpachi's grin turned into a real smile.

"Huh, Ichi?"

"You mean you let me stay?" Ichigo was still uncertain. "Even after what I've caused to you? Even I threw an inkbottle on you and made you – and Yachiru - feel miserable?"

"Hell yeah!" Kenpachi smiled wildly. "Ichi, I love you."

Ichigo smiled. He wiped one tear off from his cheek. "I love you too, Ken."

"You're an idiot but - hell – that's just makes you cute", Kenpachi grinned.

"I take that one back: I hate you", Ichigo waved his hand but smiled. "Uh… could you put me down?"

Ichigo took a firm grip from Kenpachi when he was about to put him down on the bed. Kenpachi had sometimes a rough manner to put Ichigo on bed, in other words: throw him. Only when Ichigo was completely on the bed he let go off Kenpachi, who just grinned. He also came on the bed, on his back and sighed heavily.

Ichigo smiled and closed his eyes. He did not cry anymore, he had no longer any tears left. He curled closer the tall shinigami and hugged him. Ichigo felt Kenpachi's bony hipbone under his tummy and moved slightly away from it: it really was bony and that is why it was also sharp...

"Did you bring any lube?"

Ichigo blushed: "We're really out of it?"

Kenpachi nodded. Ichigo blushed even more: "I thought it was only a part of your trick…"

Kenpachi laughed and sighed. Ichigo smiled.

"Well, I'm too tired anyway…" Kenpachi said, accepting his faith. "But if you want I could lick or rub you, Ichi…"

"No, thanks", Ichigo blushed: he could never get used to how Kenpachi spoke these things as if they would be nothing more than a tea party. "I'm tired too."

"Sorry I made you cry so much…" Kenpachi still stroked Ichigo's hair and was now also petting his back with his other hand. "I wanted to shock you but not that much."

"It's okay. I needed that wake up call", Ichigo smiled, climbed higher so he could kiss Kenpachi's lips. "Thank you, Ken. I love you more than you know."

"You're welcome, Ichi", Kenpachi grinned. "I love you too… and I'm glad you came back…"

His eyes were already close and Ichigo smiled when he looked at him.

"Ken", Ichigo still wanted to say something.

He got no respond: Kenpachi had fallen asleep. He did not snore but he was puffing. Ichigo smiled and pressed cheek against Kenpachi's chest. Yachiru had once told him that Kenpachi was a good pillow. Ichigo closed his eyes: she was right. He had strong heartbeat and his body was almost abnormally warm…

Kenpachi mumbled something in his sleep. Ichigo was not sure did he hear right but he could have sworn Kenpachi said: "I'm the alpha male…"

Ichigo decided to pretend he had not heard anything.

**THE END**


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